My heart, it's breaking!

I went outside to look for my cat Osiris, who's sick. I let him out today since it was nice and not rainy, slightly sunny and kind of warm. I thought it'd be nice for him to go sit in the sun and eat some grass and feel better. I went back out to look for him and of course I can't find him. When he's out he always wanders off. I figure he's up at my Nana's house with all her female cats, but that doesn't do much to calm my overactive imagination. Everytime I can't find him *right off* my mind is all "OH GODS MY CAT IS GONE FOREVER. "

Anyway, so I'm outside going "KITTY KITTY KITTY" and I see a figure running along my fence on the outside. I'm like "well, I know that's not my cat and it's not my dog it's too big." Mind you guys I lost my oldest dog Tenchi a year ago this coming May. He was a big black. lovely chow mix dog. So pretty. I had him 11 years and I miss him terrible.

So I'm calling my kitty and then suddenly I see this doggy thing outside the fence. I go "... doggy doggy?" and next thing I know this adorable little face pops out from a piece of broken fence in our gate. My heart TOTALLY stops because that face looked so familiar and I see this wagging tail that also looked familiar. I swear I was about to faint because it LOOKEd like my Tenchi and I was like "HOLY SHIT".

I was honestly afraid to come closer because, hey, don't walk up to strange wild dogs. But my bleeding heart gets the better of me and I sneak up to the fence and peek over. It's not my Tenchi, but it could possibly be one of his puppies. My Tenchi was quite the stud.

Anyway, so I lean over and this sweet, gentle adorable puppy face stares up at me. At first I'm like "oh god no, someone dropped off this poor gentle dog on my door step! Not again!" All our pets are strays people abandon on our corner. It's insane. Only our Terry, my old cats Chris, Chelsea and a few of the kittens we've had born here weren't strays. The next thought I have is "Oh god this is Joey all over again".

Joey was this beautiful, HUEG blond dog that was abandoned on our door step during Hurricane Rita. I all but adopted him as my own because he was so sweet and gentle and adorable and funny and I loved him to pieces. Alas, we were not allowed to keep him because we couldn't afford such a HUGE dog and we already had Tenchi and Terry and so.. we couldn't have him insane and it wasn't fair to have him outside. So >_> My mom went and abandoned him in a rich neighborhood. SOmething I've regretted ever since. He was named after Joey from the Yugioh Dub because that's who he reminded me of the most.

So anyway, this dog is a big, big black puppy who looks like he could have been one of Tenchi's last litters. Because assuming this pup is a little over a year old.. it'd fit. Anyway.. my heart strings are straining because I'm wanting to keep this dog, he's sweet, gentle, already taken a liking to me and totally looks like my beloved Tenchi. However, I'm totally aware of the fact that my mom/Grandma are going to be all "Oh HELL no. he's HUGE" and that Terry might not react well to him. (Tho, Terry has been out this whole time the dog has been here and he hasn't reacted yet, that I know of). Anyway, I'm totally heart broken just thinking about it.

Damn my bleeding heart. Animals are my weak spot. I want to keep him!!


My mind is already spinning ideas to name him. Damn meeeeeee.